I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
