adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
