careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
