From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you had me at cake vodka
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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