Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
