this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
