So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
