thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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