your room smells of hookers.
And success
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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