Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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