she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
