You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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