This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
