This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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