Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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