I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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