Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
