i think my tv is drunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
