its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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