my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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