i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
