My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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