Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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