:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
