You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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