it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
