ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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