..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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