I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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