The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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