is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He felt like a one man threesome
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
