Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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