How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize