You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
