pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
