And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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