Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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