Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
