Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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