I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
