Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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