are you still at the devil's house?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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