Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
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DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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