If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize