Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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