remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
