If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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