dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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