Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize