its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.