You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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