i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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