It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something