i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh god it's open bar.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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