so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
