You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
