Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
