all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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