How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
