She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
where are my eyebrows?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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