I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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