A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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