I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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