school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
