i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
