do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
