I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
