New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
