Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
